"I really felt what the possibility could be if the mind were empty from future considerations."
Letter to my coach:
Yesterday we had a meeting, I realized that my head was ‘full of future considerations’, even while I was speaking to you.
My fears and tensions emerged from that: Thinking about how it was going to be, thinking about how to get it done, trying to feel how it would feel, trying to close the gap between now and how I want it to be, trying to create solutions for ‘if it’s going to grow too big, trying to create the construction, so it is functional even when it is big later (big as in a lot of people use my product),… and on and on. Resulting in me feeling uncomfortable, speeding thoughts, fears coming up, and stress building up. Ok, not connecting my stress to my kids or my partner is an exercise I can handle, but that doesn’t solve the background tensions and fears about my near and far away future performances. I even do it while doing yoga or freediving underwater: my mind wanders off, and my bodily sensations even trigger future considerations like ‘ok, here is the end of my breath hold, know the end is coming, how much more do I need to practice, …’
Then it struck me; the word is ‘empty focus. EMPTY because there is no thought, no action in my mind, no connection with future considerations whatsoever.
FOCUS because it’s an exercise in focusing. It’s an exercise to catch the consideration and thoughts about the future before they take solid form in my head and jumpstart a chemical train in my body. The mind (and so the body) becomes completely available for what you are doing right now. Without fear, stress, pulling, and pushing.
Pure joy in what you are doing now. Being completely available means more time, more possibility, and more joy. But I’m careful: this previous sentence has the potential of building immediate future considerations like: do I have enough joy? What does it feel like? Hmm, is this more performance? What would it look like when I keep doing this for an hour…
It is going to be an exercise to ‘be with what I’m doing at the moment. Not letting thoughts, ideas, and future ‘considerations’ run the ‘inner chemical show.’
The word FOCUS got a completely different meaning yesterday. I really felt what the possibility could be if the mind were empty from future considerations.
So now I make a choice: am I going to think about the future right now, or am I going to do what I’m doing right now fully? I’m I going to dive in full empty focus, or I’m I spending this time thinking about a plan? Do you know what the beauty of it all is? It doesn’t matter what you do. Even thinking about the future with ‘empty focus’ becomes valuable time spent!
Thank you for your time! (Written with a full empty focused mind)
Need to try this underwater now.
Shiatsu practicer, bodyworker, coach, teacher, and compost master