Thinking "I have to" or "I must" is something we all know. Even though I wasn't pushed as many others by family or my bosses to get MORE done, I did it to myself. 

I was constantly driven to make things better, and very seldom was I satisfied with my own performance. I would compare myself not to the people around me - but to the very best in my industry. 

Many around me would think I was living my dream. And somehow I was: throughout my career as a dancer I managed to reach the goals I had set for myself. 

Yet the satisfaction I was seeking didn't come through achievement.
There was something I had to go through to understand that 
something in me needed to shift to really arrive in my dream.
Something was pushing me to go deeper.  

After a long period of travelling and getting deeply involved in a practice of movement which showed me a path towards a deep place inside of me - I fell into a hole. 

The hole I created was full of questions. For what? What was all my seeking about? The constant thrive to get more evolved, more aware, more me? Which me was I even referring to? 

This was exhausting.  There was little care for myself and the big heart that we all have. I started to feel empty. Lost. Lost in all the questions. What was this all about?

It would take some years, a lot of pain - physical and emotional - and a period of depression for me to find something that would change my whole life. 

A little moment, a new thought, easy to miss but I didn't. I saw and felt it.

The thought that accured to me after being in a hole for months was "what I feel comes from what I think". I knew this changed everything, but I had no idea how much it would.

From that moment on I knew I wanted to get a better understanding about what was going on in my head, the permanent chatter of thoughts passing through and my ability to believe some of them, but dismiss others. 

Through meditation and working with a coach I would find my way out of my previous state of mind, into a new one. 

I felt alive. In fact, I felt as alive as I did when I was a kid. 

I continued working with another coach, too.  We had started the process with the goal of finding a new position in my work, but moved to what I really wanted from my life really fast. What changed within me was so powerful, that 3 sessions in I was starting to ask her about coaching. 

It was so fascinating to me and I knew I wanted to know more. It was so powerful that I wanted to learn how to coach. 

The shift, as I understood later, was to go from doing to being. 

I realized that I was always being, I always was. No matter what my mind would ruminate on, no matter what questions I was trying to answer. There was a part of me that didn't need answers, a part of me that was present with me all through what I went through. 

And that part was free, loving, devoted and didn't judge. It was like a part that knew that I was whole all the time. I had just been too busy to notice.

Today I can thankfully say that it is my mission to guide heartful leaders, just like you, to that inner place, too. Because you know this place already. Let's start from there.

I am an open person by nature. As a kid I remember that I often wouldn't agree with things I heard about how life is. "Work is hard.", "You can't always get what you want.", "In life you have to do things you don't like." Sounds familiar?

I felt that I strongly disagreed and looking back now, I stayed true to my conviction that life can be fun, exciting and I can do only things I want to do.

This conviction and my childlike curiosity led me to explore a rather unconventional path to the place I am finding myself today. 

From dancing and performing, to bodywork and chinese medicine into coaching and the exploration of self, it was a colorful journey, full of pleasure and pains, yet mainly I am here with an open heart and a smile on my face.

This is what I wish for you, too.